Weekend & Super Bowl Season
Dear Journal,
I know it’s a big leap from my last post but, I got caught up in trying to cover up for all the days lost I didn’t write anything.
So, here’s my weekend rundown.
Friday
I had an existential crisis again. I woke up late because I went to bed late since my family sometimes does not understand that time zone differences are real things. So that kicked off the feeling of failure for sure. I wore bright colors and packed my hair up. Maybe I wanted the bright colors to mask how grey I felt.
4:53 PM
I got a Snapchat message from Echo inviting me to a party at Seth’s place at 6 PM. “Bring a swimsuit if you want to get into a hot tub” he added. I wanted to go but, I also had this assignment I needed to do before 11:59 PM. Plus my existential crisis was already reminding me of how much I was being a failure, and attending a party was just the failure stamp I needed to officiate it.
Anyway, let me introduce Echo. Echo is this culinary student who’s nicely sarcastic, weird, and sometimes annoying dude that I am glad I’m friends with. 5’8, quite big in the midsection, with an inch-above-average facial look. He’ll probably look better if he gets slimmer and a little muscular. Just to be clear, I have zero attraction toward Echo whatsoever. He’s the glue in a relatively small friends group I happened to be a part of, and you’d mostly find us “hanging out” together in his apartment.
PAUSE
I started to write this 4 days ago and kept pushing it away because I knew I had to go back and write for the days I missed. Well, that only helped fuel my procrastination dear journal. When I started to write, I wanted to write at least once every day, but things happen. I realized in these past few days that being hard on myself for not sticking to that rule, was not making it better.
Last Sunday was my first time watching American football and the Super Bowl. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! I went down to Alex’s place with my best friend Emma aka Cyrus. I might’ve tricked her into going to a party. Haha. She wouldn’t be caught dead at a party, but she’d be caught alive and happy at one when she’s with me. I didn’t completely con her, I told her I needed to see Pop Pop because he had had a seizure last Wednesday. I found out last Friday from Alex and I was a wreck. I was scared. Pop Pop is one of the most important people to me in America and reminds me of the good side of my father. Sometimes I want to say he’s my new father figure but, I‘ve also started realizing that nobody could replace my real dad no matter how horrible he was. Besides, it was his first time doing this thing called life too, so he unfortunately made mistakes and bad decisions.
Anyway, sorry I got carried away again. There was a lot of food. Even better, mostly meat. I ate so much chicken and ribs I couldn’t breathe. Then Pop Pop explained the game because I had zero idea what they were doing. I just a bunch of dudes bumping into each other like angry rhinos over a walnut-shaped ball. I obviously didn’t understand it but I got the basics; I know they run yards. I would love to watch the game in real life. And a basketball game too.
The ads were my favorite part, very funny and creative. And I learned they cost about 7 million for 30 seconds, I think. But I finished the game with my friend Vanessa, who’s a member of the friends’ group too, at her apartment hours later, I watched The Chiefs win.
I got in a hot tub last Friday night at Seth’s house with Echo, Vanessa, Andre, and Dheaven. They’re some members of my small friends’ group. Next, I was at a high school wrestling competition at 9:30 am last the following day with Vanessa. It was my first time in an American high school and I have never wanted to act in at least one Hollywood movie more than I did that day. I want to move to California once I graduate. I really do not care what people say about the state, because I’ll make it work.
I have so many things on my mind right now. Especially about finances. I’m getting tired and feeling extra stressed.
